Are you joking?

Small differences

The American said:
-We have George Bush, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
and Portuguese said:
-We have José Socrates, no wonder, no hope and no cash!

Bad luck

A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says: -This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta. A fellow at the front of the crowd asks: -When did that happen?
-1215, answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says: - Damn! Just missed it by a half hour!